A Wrestlers Life Version 2
by www.fan.fic
Summary: This is a wrestling spoof about the real lifes of wrestlers. I don't have a lot to say about except it's my first fic so easy with the reviews. Rated PG13 for language. (This is A Wrestler's life version 2, I'm redoing the other chapters before I do Chp 6
1. What?

Author: www.fan.fic  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE superstars in this fan fic.  
  
Authors Note: I'm redoing all my last chapters, fixing spelling mistakes and even adding and changing some stuff. I'm a better writer now. I'll write the 6th chapter once I'm finished with all this. Please review! Welcome to "A Wrestler's Life Version 2"  
  
Stone Cold Steve Austin walks down the sidewalk headed to the nearby bar. As he enters his theme song hits as he walks over to the counter and takes a seat. When it stops playing everyone is found looking from each other to Steve. After about a minute, they shrug and go about their business.  
  
Bartender: What will it be, stranger?  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Bartender: I said what will it be?  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Bartender: I said-  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Bartender: I-  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Bartender: I'm trying-  
  
Austin: What? What? What?! What?!! WHAT?!!  
  
Bartender: You keep-  
  
Austin: Shut up! Here's how it's going to work, you're going to get me a case of beer, no you're going to get me two cases of beer, no you're going to get me three cases of beer, hell just get me all the beer you got! And that's the bottom line-  
  
People around the bar: CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!  
  
Austin: Shut up! (Points at the bartender) Get the damn beer!  
  
Bartender: (Gritting his teeth)......Fine.  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Bartender goes to the back grumbling.  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Booker T is waiting in line at an ice cream truck. He stares at the hot sun with his mouth open.  
  
Booker T: Man, I need some ice cream! Booker T is hot!!!  
  
Ice Cream Man: Next  
  
Booker T: Finally!  
  
IC Man: What flavor do you want?  
  
Booker T: Ha, all right I'll have the......... (15 seconds pass)  
  
IC Man: Is there a problem sir?  
  
Booker T: Nah, nah man I just haven't decided yet.  
  
IC Man: You were in line for thirty minutes, sir. You don't know what you want?  
  
Booker T: That's right! If I was in line that long, these punk ass %&&%es can wait!  
  
Customer: Hey buddy, watch your mouth.  
  
Booker T: Tell me you did not just say that! Tell me you did not just say that!  
  
IC Man: Sir, will you just choose?  
  
Booker T: Fine, I'll uh have the rocky road. Now can you dig that! (Walks away)  
  
Customer: (Walks forward) Hi, I'll have the-  
  
Booker T: (Comes back shoving the customer out of the way) SUCKAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! (Walks away again eating his ice cream)  
  
Soon Booker T runs into Stone Cold and Chris Jericho.  
  
Jericho: Well, well, well. If it isn't the great Stone Cold and the (mimics Booker) five time, five time, five-  
  
Austin: What?  
  
Jericho: (Grins) Well Austin, I was thinking and I'm going to give you a rematch against me for the undisputed champion, if you're not scared that is.  
  
Austin: Shut up Jericho! Stone Cold don't give a damn what you have to say! With your beady little eyes, your stupid little shirt, your tight little pants, you're dumb little boots, and your stupid haircut it doesn't matter what you think! And that's the bottom line! (walks away)  
  
Booker T: Yeah later Sucka! And it's five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW champion!  
  
Jericho: Yeah, yeah move along junior. I got all my jerichoholics to entertain! (walks over to the curve) The king of bling bling is cruising the city tonight!  
  
A limo goes by splashing water all over Jericho. Inside is Evolution........  
  
Batista's in next chapter, Chapter 2 Version 2 coming as soon as possible 


	2. Mattitude's Cleaners

Author:www.fan.fic  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any WWE Superstars.  
  
Authors Note:Finaly! Chapter 2 is here!  
  
In the limo Evolution is inside with a bunch of woman.  
  
HHH: Well a long days work deserves a big break.  
  
Randy: Yeah, I've really been missing out on me time!  
  
Flair: Whoo! And now we got all these beautiful woman in a limo, first class! Whoo!  
  
Randy's Girl: So what do you want to do Randy? (Blows in his ear.)  
  
Randy: Oh I'll tell you what I want to do... talk about me! Remember that time I beat up Mick Foley?!  
  
HHH: Oh yeah, you kicked his ass.  
  
Flair: Whoo! Oh yes you did! Whoo!  
  
Randy: And the time I RKO'd Shawn Micheols?  
  
HHH: Oh yeah, that was good.  
  
Flair: Whoo! It was the best! Whoo!  
  
Randy: And the.  
  
Randy's Girl: That's it Randy all you ever do is talk about your self! You either stop it or I'm leaving you!  
  
Limo stops and they kick her out then drive off.  
  
Randy: I really got her!  
  
HHH: Yes you did.  
  
Flair: Yes you did! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!  
  
Randy: (Nods)  
  
Flair: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!  
  
HHH: Ok, Ric.  
  
Flair: Hold on Hunter! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!  
  
HHH: Ric.  
  
Flair: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!  
  
HHH: Ric!  
  
Flair: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!  
  
HHH: RIC!  
  
Flair: What is it?  
  
HHH: That's enough.  
  
Flair: Oh, ok.  
  
Silence for 30 seconds then....  
  
Randy: So as I was saying....  
  
Flair: Whoo! Whoo!  
  
Back with Jericho.  
  
Jericho: (Looks at his wet clothes) why those! (spots Mattitude Cleaners across the street and heads there.)  
  
Jericho runs into someone on a bike.  
  
Jericho: Hey, watch it!  
  
Man on bike takes off helmet and reveals himself as the Undertaker.  
  
Undertaker: What did you say to me boy?  
  
Jericho: I-I-I said uh, uh (runs into the cleaners)  
  
Taker goes after him.  
  
Jericho: (Runs to the counter) You got to help me please!  
  
Shannon Moore and Crash are at the counter.  
  
Shannon: Alright, calm down. As long as you got money-  
  
Jericho: I'm broke at the moment!  
  
Shannon: Can't help you then, sorry that's Mattitude. Right Crash.  
  
Crash: (Is reading Hardy book) Mattitude! (Makes Mattitude sign.)  
  
Jericho: Mattitude?!  
  
Crash: Mattitude! (Makes sign)  
  
Shannon: Mattitude. Sorry man.  
  
Undertaker: Time to go to school! (Comes in)  
  
Jericho: Oh no (Runs to the back and past Matt Hardy.)  
  
Matt: Did that guy pay?!  
  
Shannon: No he-  
  
Matt: Shut up! (Slaps Shannon)  
  
Jericho runs to the back door, but stops when he sees Noble and Nidia making out.  
  
Noble: Oh yeah, baby yeah! You're so good!  
  
Jericho: (Scratches head watching then runs when he sees Undertaker.)  
  
Nidia: Oh yeah!  
  
Undertaker: (Watches rubbing his chin then goes after Chris.)  
  
Matt and Crash come in. Crash still reading book.  
  
Noble: Come on baby almost there!  
  
Matt: (Stares wide eyed) Did they pay?! (Points at them)  
  
Crash; Oh yeah. Mattitude style! (Makes sign)  
  
In the alley.  
  
Jericho: Please Taker no! (Runs into street and is almost hit by a car.)  
  
Undertaker: (Runs after him.)  
  
Then out of the car comes Rob Van Dam!  
  
Sorry for the wait! 


	3. Don't Make Fun of Me!

Author:www.fan.fic  
  
Authors Note:Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter three.  
  
Rob Van Dam: (Comes out of his car and shakes his head) People in the city need to learn to relax. (Shakes his head again watching Taker beat the snot out of Jericho)  
  
Rob Van Dam gets back in his car and drives off. And above him flies The Hurricane and Rosie. Their music plays as they land on a building.  
  
Hurricane: I am HURRICANE! (Makes pose)  
  
Rosie: I am S.H.I.T! Super Hero in Training. (Makes his pose blocking the Hurricane)  
  
Hurricane: Hey, Rosie. (Taps Rosie on the shoulder)  
  
Rosie: What? Oh. (Gets behind Hurricane.)  
  
Hurricane: Holy %#$$@! (Points to a flaming building) That construction is on fire! And there are people inside! Let's go Rosie!  
  
Rosie: Okay!  
  
They fly into the building.  
  
People Below: What's that?! It's a bird! It's a plane!  
  
Booker T: No! It's the worst wrestlers in the business suckaaaaaas!  
  
Christian: (Is showing off his muscles) Yes! I'm great! I know!  
  
Booker T: Well not as bad him. Now can you dig that?!  
  
Austin: (Walks by with a can of beer and looks up at the building) What! Is going on?  
  
A few minutes later Hurricane comes out with a bunch of people. Then Rosie comes out beating someone up.  
  
Rosie: That will teach you set fires!  
  
Hurricane: (Flies over with his hands on his hips) Rosie! This man didn't start the fire! He is a victim! And you smashed him like a bug! What's up with that?!  
  
Meanwhile, at Kane's house. Kane is watching TV with a bunch of cops pointing guns at him.  
  
TV: (Goldberg appears on a commercial saying) You're next! To try Goldberg gum, availible to you in stores now!  
  
Kane: (Stands up and walks to the phone) I'm ordering a pizza. Does anyone have any spare... CHANGE?!!!!  
  
Cop: Walks over to Kane slowly and hands him some money.  
  
Kane: (Dials on the phone)  
  
Pizza Hut: Hello? Kane: Hello! I'd like some pizza! Some pizza that is... hot.... Like fire! (Laughs evilly)  
  
Pizza Hut: Sure. Where do you live sir?  
  
Kane: You want to know where I live? WELL THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN KNOW, IS BY COMING HERE YOUSELF!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pizza Hut: Yep. So where do you live?  
  
A few minutes later the doorbell rings.  
  
Kane: I'LL GET IT! (He walks to the door)  
  
And at the door is Rob Van Dam.  
  
Rob: Hey Kane! How's a going?  
  
Kane: Don't make fun of me! (Chokeslams Rob and slams the door)  
  
Rob: Uncool dude!  
  
On the side walk Lance storm is watching.  
  
Lance: How come I can't be interesting like that?!  
  
Then a truck stops next to him and the window roles down to reveal Stone Cold.  
  
Austin: BORING! (Drives off)  
  
Lance: I'll show you! With this speech! (Takes out a peace of paper)  
  
Next chapter's on its way! And more reviews please! 


	4. At the Mall

Author:www.fan.fic  
  
Lance Storm is reading his long and boring speech. Soon the people in the naborhood are all asleep.  
  
Lance: And that's why I, Lance Storm, am not boring.  
  
Kane: SHUT UP!!! (Burst through the door)  
  
Lance: Oh shit! Runs off with Kane chasing him.  
  
Meanwhile, at a clothes shop, Brock Lesnar is buying some new shirts.  
  
Clerk: How bout this one sir? (She hands him a pretty ugly shirt)  
  
Brock: It's so ugly, it's actually painful to look at. (Flexes his muscles) Well I LOVE pain (Laughs)  
  
Clerk: So you'll buy it?  
  
Brock: (Puts a hand in her face) Quiet! You hear smell that? (Sniffs the air) It's the smell of GOLD MEDALS!  
  
Kurt Angle then runs through swiping the shirt.  
  
Kurt: Ha ha! This shirt is mine now!  
  
Brock: I don't think so! (Starts to chase Kurt Angle)  
  
Brock chases Kurt a through the mall.  
  
Kurt: Give it up Brock! There is no way I'm giving up this shirt!  
  
Brock: Give it up Kurt, and then get ready for the pain!  
  
Kurt: Never! (They start slapping each other)  
  
Brock: Ow! Why you little! (Picks Kurt up and gives an evil grin. He walks over to the edge of the floor and F-5's Kurt off the third floor)  
  
Kurt falls into a large wagon where a pie-eating contest is taking place.  
  
Rock: What in blue cherry pies! Hey! (Stands up and looks at the judges) The Rock said he'd pie! But he never said he'd eat an Olympic hero with a swollen head!  
  
Kurt: Oooooooooooooooh  
  
Rock: Get off! (Pushes Kurt Angle of this pie) Ah hell! You poisoned the pie with your Angleness! Well I'll just have to go COOK something. Jabronies! (Walks off)  
  
Outside Shawn Micheols, Rikishi, and Booker T are having a dancing competition.  
  
Shawn: (Doing his dance that he does whenever he comes out to the ring) Oh yeah! I know I'm sexy! Ha Ha!  
  
Chris Jericho: Yeah, yeah! Step aside junior! (Begins a stupid dance)  
  
Booker T: You're not even in the competition suckaaa! Jericho: Whatever (Continues to dance)  
  
Rikishi: Don't worry. I'll take care of him. (Starts to dance closer and closer to Jericho till he's close enough to....... give him a stink face!)  
  
Jericho: Oh god! (Runs off as everyone laughs)  
  
And that was chapter 4! 


	5. The Evil Vince

Author:www.fan.fic  
  
Authors Note: Thank you for all the reviews. And thank you Hearts Desire for the idea at Mattitude's Cleaners. I wasn't sure how good this fic would turn out, but I think I'm going to keep righting for a while.  
  
Chris Jericho keeps running till he returns to Mattitude's Cleaners. The glass has just been shattered and a policeman (Big Boss Man) is talking with Shannon and Matt. But what scared the heck out of Jericho was that Undertaker was waiting for him.  
  
Jericho: Oh god no! (Starts to run away as Undertaker chases him)  
  
Big Boss Man: So was anything stolen?  
  
Matt: (Looks back at Mattitude's Cleaners and points to how empty it is) Yeah everything was stolen! What sort of cop are you?!  
  
Noble: And Nidia! Don't forget Nidia!  
  
BBM: Kidnap you say? (Takes notes) now what did the robber look like?  
  
Crash: Well he didn't look mattitude (makes sign) that's for sure.  
  
BBM: Okay, okay. I think I've figured out who took your stuff.  
  
Chris Jericho runs by with Taker chasing him. Boss Man clotheslines him.  
  
BBM: Got you! Now give back the stuff! (Starts hitting him with the nightstick harder than needed)  
  
Shannon: But it wasn't him.  
  
BBM: Oh! Sorry about that! (Hits Jericho with the stick one more time)  
  
Jericho: Ow! That's okay. Damnit! (Undertaker starts beating him up)  
  
BBM: I'm stumped! Who could have done this?  
  
Hurricane and Rosie fly onto the scene.  
  
Hurricane: Isn't it obvious?  
  
BBM: Burglars! (Starts hitting Rosie with the nightstick)  
  
Matt: What the hell! They're superheroes!  
  
Shannon: Yeah they're superheroes!  
  
BBM: Oh! So who do you think did it? (Hits Rosie with the nightstick again)  
  
Hurricane: Well you'd have to be rich to pull off something like this! And then you'd have to like a little TRAMP like Nidia!  
  
Noble: Hey!  
  
Hurricane: Well who's rich? And likes little tramps. I'll tell you whom! It's-  
  
Rosie: Goldust! (Gives a thumbs up) Hurricane: No! It's Mr. Mchman you silly little S.H.I.T! And of course by that I mean super hero in training. Now let's go! (They fly off)  
  
Matt: Shannon! Did you hire all these people?  
  
Shannon: No I-  
  
Matt: Excuses, excuses! (Walks into the cleaners mumbling)  
  
At Vince's office Shane's knocking on the door.  
  
Vince: Come in! (Kisses Sable and Nidia)  
  
Shane: (His music plays as he does the money walk all the way to Vince's desk)  
  
Vince: What the hell do you want?  
  
Shane: I want revenge dad! You set mom up for that evil Eric Bishop guy to get in and kiss her and-and-and.. oh god I can't even say it! But if I can't take down Eric then I'll take down you instead! (Starts to do the walk again)  
  
Vince: Quit skipping around damnit! If you want Eric so bad then go and get him! (Pushes a button that opens up a door. Eric is behind it)  
  
Eric: Yeah come and get me-  
  
Shane: (Starts beating him up)  
  
Sable: (Walks over and kisses Shane on the lips)  
  
Eric: (Able to start kicking Shane with the distraction) Thank you Sable! (Kicks again)  
  
Sable: My pleasure. (Blows a kiss to Eric who starts to give loving looks to Sable)  
  
Shane: (With this distraction starts beating up Eric once more)  
  
Sable: Oops!  
  
Shane: Come on Eric! What's the matter? (Does the money walk)  
  
Just then Shane is hit in the back with a still chair. And the one holding the chair is........................................................(Here's a big hint. At Summer Slam it was Eric vs. Shane. Shane was hit then in the back with a chair! And the one holding the chair was..................) ......Coach!  
  
J.R.: Coach?  
  
King: Coach?  
  
Shane: Coach?! Ow!  
  
Matt: Coach?  
  
Shannon: Coach?  
  
Crash: Coach? Mattitude! (Makes sign)  
  
Taker: (Beating up Jericho) Coach?  
  
Jericho: Coach: Coach? (Faints)  
  
Vince: That's right! Coach! (Laughs evilly)  
  
To be continued.....  
  
So was this chapter good? I wrote it really late, like at twelve. If you guys really like this I'll keep righting it. 


End file.
